10 things to say to build your child’s confidence and perseverance

Sometimes children become discouraged in completing tasks like cleaning up or school work because the content or process is harder than they’ve experienced in the past.

Challenges are good, but only if they are at a level that doesn’t cause too much frustration. Otherwise, the child may feel discouraged and not persevere to overcome a challenge.

A simple thing that we as parents can do is build stamina to promote a love of learning, confidence and perseverance. But don’t wait for things to get hard to start saying these things to your child.

Build the mindset now that your child can continue to grow with practice and hard work. When your child is playing with toys, or being creative with some art add some words of encouragement. 

Here are 10 things you can say:

1. You’re working so hard at …

Example: “You’re working so hard at building that tower tall!”

2. Your focus on ... is amazing…

Example: “Your focus on pouring that sand in the truck is amazing!”

3. Even when …. was hard you ....  

Example: “Even when building that was hard, you kept trying and didn’t give up.

4. I am proud of how hard you are .…

Example: “I am so proud of how hard you are building that fort!”

5. By practicing so much at .... you will ….  

Example: “By practicing so much at tossing that ball you will soon be throwing farther than me!”

6. It is wonderful to see you ....

Example: “It is wonderful to see you so happy when you color a picture!”

7. Amazing that you figured ....   

Example: “Amazing that you figured out how to put the toothpaste on yourself!”

8. You realized you made a mistake and ….

Example: “You realized you made a mistake and figured out how to fix it!”

9. I can see how much you enjoyed ….  

Example: “I can see how much you enjoyed lining up those cars!”

10. You spent a lot of time on ….   

Example: “You spent a lot of time on that picture and worked really hard at making it look like you wanted it to!”

Did you see the exclamation points at the end of each of those examples?

That's right, say it with excitement!

Kids can feel your energy and when you share that enthusiasm they'll absorb it into their play. Over time it will build into a habit that will inspire them to persevere.

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